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Epic Twitter Battles: Round 6

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kerihw versus GlennyRodge (August, 2013)

ROUND 6: FIGHT!

 

GlennyRodge: You think it's 'brickle brac'.

 

kerihw: When you do your weekly Today Show LARP session you always play Justin Webb.

 

GlennyRodge: You spend far too long thinking about what might happen if the man in the Skittles advert touches other people. Or himself.

 

kerihw: Estate agent.

 

GlennyRodge: Due to your 'allergies' you never had a pet and consequently don't have a porn star name.

 

kerihw: Your porn name is "Man Crying In The Corner no. 4".

 

GlennyRodge: Jeeves asker.

 

kerihw: Your homepage is Yahoo!

 

GlennyRodge: The last sudoku you did had two 9s in the same row and a missing 4.

 

kerihw: Your YouTube instructional video on forcing rhubarb has been viewed only 7 times.

 

GlennyRodge: You are the only child in the history of We Are The Champions not to wave or put your thumbs up when introduced.

 

kerihw: You can't tell the difference between a wallaby and kangaroo without feeling them.

 

GlennyRodge: Botty wipe stand-uper.

 

kerihw: Even though you've seen it four times you can't remember what happened in Quantum of Solace.

 

GlennyRodge: You sometimes press the 'tweet' button when you don't mean to. pic.twitter.com/8yWPasiKH3

 

kerihw: You never remember that you can fast forward through the adverts on stuff you've recorded.

 

GlennyRodge: you refuse to have tomato ketchup at the dinner table. You call it children's food.

 

kerihw: Effect / affect confuser.

 

GlennyRodge: You've been to an S Club party. You went as Jo.

 

kerihw: You don't understand why a door isn't a door when it's a jar. "If it's a jar. How can it be a door?", you ask, over and over.

 

GlennyRodge: You thought supposition meant where you sat to have your tea.

 

kerihw: You can't remember what points make.

 

GlennyRodge: You never squeeze the sponge out after washing up.

 

kerihw: Cheer up it might never happen sayer.

 

GlennyRodge: You're the something strange in your neighbourhood.

 

kerihw: Leo Sayer.

 

GlennyRodge: Throughout the entire year you had a mop top, you were known as Hair Goon.

 

kerihw: You would pay more than £20 for a t-shirt.

 

GlennyRodge: You won't pay more than £20 for shoes.

 

kerihw: You take advantage of the gullibility of the staff at the soft play centre.

 

GlennyRodge: That wind-changing thing actually happened to you.

 

kerihw: The power-ballad you wrote for your mum is overwrought, too long and neither of the last two key changes add any value.

 

GlennyRodge: Until recently, you thought nuptials was a slang term for testicles.

 

kerihw: You don't love jumping in muddy puddles.

 

GlennyRodge: No one will watch your Peter Kay DVDs with you because you say things like "It's so true!!" & "Big light! Big light! Ha! Ha!"

 

kerihw: You've got a mug that has a slogan that only appears when it's hot.

 

GlennyRodge: your biggest pet hate is ready meal cartons with compartments.

 

kerihw: The channels on your telly aren't even in the right order. BBC1 is number 7.

 

GlennyRodge: "you're my best friend" when drunk sayer.

 

kerihw: You blow in the wrong end of didgeridoos.

 

GlennyRodge: You're watching Celebrity Big Brother.

 

kerihw: You're disappointed Karl Howman from Brush Strokes isn't Batman.

 

GlennyRodge: You took to your bed when they shut down menshn.

 

kerihw: Tea slurper.

 

GlennyRodge: You thought Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich were the Trumpton firemen.

 

kerihw: When someone comes in a bit late to work, you say "Afternoon".

 

GlennyRodge: When someone asks you if it's Friday today, you reply "yes, all day".

 

kerihw: To find out about your family history you've signed up for the next series of "What Do You Think You Are?".

 

GlennyRodge: You're in the Twitter Elite.

 

kerihw: You walk round beaches claiming to have been stung by a jellyfish in the hope someone will wee on you.

 

GlennyRodge: You walk around beaches searching for people who have been stung by a jellyfish.

 

kerihw: While your DVDs are alphabetised, you erroneously file films starting with "The" under T.

 

GlennyRodge: When someone says it's raining, you say "So is the queen".

 

kerihw: You pay £10+ for bottles of manuka honey.

 

GlennyRodge: Your knowledge of Sex in the City is becoming disturbing to your loved ones.

 

GlennyRodge: Call it quits/have another break today?

 

kerihw: Yeah. I quit. You win.

 

GlennyRodge: Nah. You stuffed me.

 

..........

 

GlennyRodge: If you could change your name, you'd choose Keri Kardashian.

 

kerihw: I'm so over this I'm like Peter Stringfellow over your mum.

 

GlennyRodge: Your mum is Peter Stringfellow. Or something.

 

kerihw: You don't turn your mattress nearly often enough.

 

GlennyRodge: When someone turns up late, you ask them if they've wet the bed.

 

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