kerihw versus GlennyRodge (1-9th August, 2013)
ROUND 1: FIGHT!
GlennyRodge: You look racist. x
kerihw: And you continue to look like a tramp warming himself around a fire he's started in a bin x.
GlennyRodge: Collector of fridge magnets.
kerihw: Teaspoon non-rinser.
GlennyRodge: 'Pacific' when you mean 'specific' sayer.
kerihw: YOU HAVE FLORAL WALLPAPER.
GlennyRodge: Top Gear watcher.
kerihw: You walk past Big Issue sellers and pat your pockets like you have no change and do a face.
GlennyRodge: You put the children's sides up at the bowling alley but still only score 83.
kerihw: Medium peri-peri sauce at Nandos user.
GlennyRodge: "Not three bad, thanks" sayer.
kerihw: YOU CALL THEM JIM-JAMS.
GlennyRodge: Jammies actually. No, wait. You phone up polls they have on the telly and vote 'don't know'. All the time.
kerihw: Dave Ja Vu watcher.
GlennyRodge: Only male in the Barry Manilow fan club.
kerihw: Extended warranty purchaser.
GlennyRodge: You always have the right change.
kerihw: You prefer shredless.
GlennyRodge: Ross is your favourite Friends character.
kerihw: You still don't understand what happened at the end of Usual Suspects.
GlennyRodge: You wee into the middle of the pan so everyone can hear you.
kerihw: None of your porcelain cats are part of a pair.
GlennyRodge: You don't like the yellow blanket because "it's a bit too scratchy".
kerihw: You think margarine is goose butter.
GlennyRodge: When handed the box of chocolates, you spend 15 minutes choosing, for crying out loud.
kerihw: You don't understand buttons.
kerihw: Wealdstone fan.
GlennyRodge: 'There's nowt as queer as folk' sayer.
kerihw: You keep eggs in the fridge.
GlennyRodge: When playing board games, everyone has to wait for you to read the rules, no matter how many times you've played the game before.
kerihw: You hail buses you have no intention of boarding.
GlennyRodge: Only person under 70 that says "strewth".
kerihw: You don't put dvds back in the right case.
GlennyRodge: You consistently confuse Portsmouth with Plymouth.
kerihw: You watch Channel 5 news.
GlennyRodge: You refuse to play monopoly unless you're the dog.
kerihw: On Streetfighter II, you would voluntarily be Guile.
GlennyRodge: You include David Niven in a list of James Bonds.
kerihw: You get confused between AAA and AA batteries.
GlennyRodge: You use a steering wheel lock even though you have a car alarm because "you can't put a price on piece of mind".
kerihw: You spoil everyone's fun on bouncy castles by bombing.
GlennyRodge: You keep calling yourself The Kezmeister in a vain attempt that it'll catch on.
kerihw: You just save all your files on your desktop.
GlennyRodge: You're only truly happy when you're doing your puzzles.
kerihw: When you sing "We Didn't Start The Fire" in the shower you can only remember as far as "Children of thalidomide".
GlennyRodge: Every Christmas you insist on showing younger bemused relatives your Frank Spencer impression.
kerihw: You wear running shoes to do cross-training.
GlennyRodge: Unnecessarily loud sneezer.
kerihw: Yeah, cowering. LIKE A FOX. Lynx wearer.
GlennyRodge: YOU CRIED WHEN DEL AND RODNEY BECAME MILLIONAIRES.