kerihw versus GlennyRodge (August, 2013)
ROUND 4: FIGHT!
GlennyRodge: Okay, Guess The Crisps. Guess the brand AND flavour to win a year's supply of sod all. 1 guess per person. On your marks...get set...guess.
kerihw: No. Not after the bullshit you pulled a while ago. You've ruined it forever.
GlennyRodge: You're serving a life time ban anyway. Druggie.
kerihw: You can't pee without humming.
kerihw: When you're wearing your backpack you do up the strap across your chest.
GlennyRodge: Last Night of the Proms bobber.
kerihw: The only way you'd get on Masterchef would be as an ingredient.
GlennyRodge: You call it Chrimbo.
kerihw: You prefer Cocoon II.
GlennyRodge: You're still saying "thank Crunchie it's Friday" even though the advert hasn't been on the telly for
kerihw: 606 phoner inner.
GlennyRodge: You say "Helin" instead of "Helen".
kerihw: When speaking to someone in a call centre you actually make a note of the reference numbers they give you.
GlennyRodge: When you grow your hair long, you look a little bit like your nan.
kerihw: Your best chat-up line involves explaining at length why you think Bungle is a wookie.
GlennyRodge: The face of your watch is on the inside of your wrist.
kerihw: You are the only man to have ever used a Boots No. 7 voucher.
GlennyRodge: You keep your phone in a belt pouch despite having perfectly working pockets.
kerihw: You think you're clever when you tell people Dracula isn't the name of the vampire, it's the name of the vampire's creator.
GlennyRodge: 5-a-day counter.
kerihw: When you finish using the toilet you don't rinse the little bum brush properly.
GlennyRodge: You think men who have shoulder bags are "a bit, you know".
kerihw: You drag your telly into the kitchen every Saturday morning so you can pretend you're participating in the omelette challenge.
GlennyRodge: You try impressing younger people by saying Example is your favourite band.
kerihw: You keep your headphones in the little bag that came with them.
GlennyRodge: Your last three trips to A&E have all been cotton bud related.
kerihw: You blow raspberries at lollipop ladies.
GlennyRodge: Your favourite treat is your weekly trip to "macky dee's".
kerihw: You put jam on a scone first, then cream.
GlennyRodge: You wear T-shirts with 'humorous' writing on them.
kerihw: You think denial is a river in Turkey.
GlennyRodge: You've made a list of insults because you keep forgetting the good ones.
kerihw: Your nickname is "Slaphead" and it's not because you're bald.
GlennyRodge: You thought the Great Train Robbery robbers stole a train.
kerihw: You never use your wok.
GlennyRodge: You have a total of 85 tissues and 7 half packets of polos in all your coat pockets.
kerihw: You had to get a man in to fix it when your attempt to install glueless laminate flooring was a laughable disaster.
GlennyRodge: Every time your wife bends down to pick something up, you say "while you're down there". Every time.
kerihw: You've never realised that the word filofax comes from "file of facts".
GlennyRodge: You turn the temperature setting on your shower to 'twenty past' even though it isn't a clock.
kerihw: If someone put you on the spot you wouldn't be able to tell them where your vacuum cleaner accessories are.
GlennyRodge: You delete and re-write tweets whenever you make a your/you're error.
kerihw: You think Jake Humphrey is a "Des Lynam for the Facebook epoch".
GlennyRodge: your FarmVille farm is 100% broccoli.
kerihw: You share your exercise progress on Google+.
GlennyRodge: Whenever you watch athletics you always say "that reminds me, must pop down the allotment and see how my runners are doing".
kerihw: You paid for your anti-virus.
GlennyRodge: You always seem to need a wee within minutes of bleach being poured down the pan.
kerihw: Your job is writing the chummy, hilarious stuff that goes on Innocent bottles.
GlennyRodge: You prefer the You've Been Framed hosted by "that bird from Emmerdale Farm".
kerihw: Full kit wearer.
GlennyRodge: Your glasses go dark when you go outside.
kerihw: Your sponges always come out dry because you forget that the ingredients should be at room temperature when you mix them.
GlennyRodge: You always seem to get the dodgy tap in the gents' loo when you're wearing light coloured trousers.
kerihw: Almost all of your clothes are from Superdry.
GlennyRodge: You thought it was "hand-fisted".
kerihw: You swallow maltesers whole.
GlennyRodge: "That's that job jobbed" sayer.
kerihw: Your moisturising regime lacks focus.
GlennyRodge: You prefer the Steps version of Tragedy.
kerihw: You don't prefer the Steps version of Tragedy.
GlennyRodge: "So much for global warming" sayer.
kerihw: "Ooooh no no no no, just a Korma for me" sayer.
GlennyRodge: You tell people who didn't know you as a teenager that you once had trials with Bristol City.
kerihw: Internet Explorer user.
GlennyRodge: Browsing data clearer.
kerihw: None of your ceilings are Artex.
GlennyRodge: You thought it was Symphony For The Devil.
kerihw: Your job is choreographing the little moves athletes do when they have their pre-race close up.
GlennyRodge: You insist your parents leave your room the way it was when you left home, even though they've twice moved house since.
kerihw: YOU SAY "COOL BANANAS".
GlennyRodge: Once you actually compared apples with oranges.
kerihw: You listen to the Archers during the week so you can impress your dog by predicting what will happen during the Sunday omnibus.
GlennyRodge: You believe that counting Paul McGann as Doctor Who is an insult to time travel.
kerihw: You're so MoneySuperMarket.
GlennyRodge: You make shepherd's pie with beef.
kerihw: You can't eat sweetcorn without mentioning how it comes out the same way it went in.
GlennyRodge: You watch Dog The Bounty Hunter for tips on both fugitive hunting and fashion.
kerihw: You claim to ironically enjoy Spongebob Squarepants so you look cool but actually watching it leaves you angry and confused.