kerihw versus GlennyRodge (August, 2013)
ROUND 5: FIGHT!
GlennyRodge: At the end of every cup of tea, you say "that hit the spot".
kerihw: You don't even have tea. You have an "infusion".
GlennyRodge: Your favourite football team aren't as good as you think they are.
kerihw: The faces you make in Chinese restaurants are both racist and physiologically inaccurate.
GlennyRodge: White socks wearer.
kerihw: You always say "do you just do a medium normal coffee?" in coffee shops even though the menu's right there and it's not hard.
GlennyRodge: When asked how you are, you reply "I'm okay. It's the others".
kerihw: Smashed plate cheerer.
GlennyRodge: pinch and a punch, first day of the monther.
kerihw: You politely hold doors open for people, but you do it in a ridiculously theatrical manner, bowing down and swishing your arm.
GlennyRodge: You always tick the box to receive more information about the company's products and/or services.
kerihw: You would do "that" for love.
GlennyRodge: You actually like me.
kerihw: Sometimes, when your Ocado delivery has too many substitutions, you get so angry you slap your thigh.
GlennyRodge: You have Speak Like A Pirate Day ringed on your calendar.
kerihw: You prefer rollerballs.
GlennyRodge: You're what Willis was talkin' 'bout.
kerihw: Your favourite thing in the world is explaining using a vast PowerPoint presentation why the song Ironic isn't ironic.
GlennyRodge: "Jedi" as religion on census form writer.
kerihw: You like the new rounded shape of Dairy Milk.
GlennyRodge: You think that poshness is the only difference between Rugby Union and Rugby League.
kerihw: Nobody calls you the space cowboy, Maurice or the gangster of love and you do not speak on the pompitous of love either.
GlennyRodge: Despite what you think, Harper Collins did not write To Kill A Mockingbird.
kerihw: Despite what you think, Spot The Dog is not real.
GlennyRodge: Ugg boots wearer.
kerihw: With you, it definitely is the Maybelline.
GlennyRodge: In the evenings, you retire to your room and read plays. Aloud. With accents.
kerihw: Arsenal's chief transfer negotiator.
GlennyRodge: You actually made that tut they showed you to make on Blue Peter.
kerihw: You're crap at using autocorrect.
GlennyRodge: You've had a bit of food on your face since lunchtime.
kerihw: Your favourite ninja turtle is "Titian".
GlennyRodge: When discussing measurements with builders, you replace 'by' with 'be' so they think you're cool. They don't, be the way.
kerihw: You spend 20 minutes every morning wondering what Dale Winton is up to now.
GlennyRodge: When you're cross or moaning, you add an 'er' sound to the last word of each sentence.
kerihw: You think anti-climb paint is part of a Mormon conspiracy.
GlennyRodge: One Show watcher.
kerihw: You think a squid is a daddy octopus.
GlennyRodge: You maintain that, with a couple of months off work and a five grand float, you'd be able to find Lord Lucan.
kerihw: You try to get women to marry you by flashing your new combine harvester even though they already have more land than you.
GlennyRodge: Whistley nose breather.
kerihw: Your mash is lumpy and dry.
GlennyRodge: you still collect Panini football stickers.
kerihw: At the start of all three Lord Of The Rings films, you sang "Everybody's Tolkein At Me, I don't hear a word they're saying".
GlennyRodge: You're a belieber and a directioner. For fuck's sake, pick one, will you?
kerihw: You continue to maintain supersymmetry is a valid component of string theory despite the LHC finding no evidence it exists.
GlennyRodge: Lib Dem voter.
kerihw: Keep calm and carry onner.
GlennyRodge: Fat from bacon remover.
kerihw: You're so vain you thought the whole album was about you.
GlennyRodge: You think the darts on BBC is better.
GlennyRodge: Bed goer
kerihw: When shop assistants ask if you want a bag you don't say "yes please" you say "ooooooh that would be lovely if you've got one".
GlennyRodge: Shop name pluraliser.
kerihw: When you walk backwards through a door holding two cups of tea you make "woop woop" noises like a truck reversing.
GlennyRodge: "You say it best, when you say nothing at all" was Ronan Keating's way of telling you to pipe down.
kerihw: The voice on your satnav is Stuart Hall.
kerihw: In chess, you call pawns "prawns".
GlennyRodge: You call dinner 'lunch' and tea 'dinner'.
kerihw: Disk 3 is missing from your Monarch Of The Glen Complete Series 1 - 7 box set.
GlennyRodge: It was series 4 before you realised Frasier's brother wasn't called Miles.
kerihw: You don't know which Dimbleby is which.
GlennyRodge: you describe yourself as outdoorsy.
kerihw: You do hokey-cokeys on your own.
GlennyRodge: You use your own little quirks and foibles as inspiration for your insults towards me.
kerihw: When they ask "Have you been to Nandos before" you say no, even though you have, as you're afraid something might have changed.
GlennyRodge: You say "boxed set" instead of "box set".
kerihw: You do the shake 'n vac song and dance whenever you hoover.
GlennyRodge: When you sit down the tattoo of Winston Churchill on your belly scrunches up and looks like Captain Mainwaring.
kerihw: Just as you and your wife are about to go out, you ask her when she's going to get changed. Every time.
GlennyRodge: Your kids often ask "why does daddy keep talking about scotch mist?"
kerihw: Your Thundercat name is Bagpussra.