I'm a bit stuck. I've written a poem to mark the 400th anniversary of the Authorized Version. It crams in 100 phrases that have passed into (more or less) common parlance in the space of about 3 minutes.
I'd like to turn it into a video where I speak it to screen and for that to be a quick "grabber" which will make people want to find out more - e.g. order my upcoming evangelistic book based on KJV, go to an evangelistic event based on KJV, or visit the King's English.
First I need you to cast a critical eye over the poem (below). If it's rubbish, there's no point going ahead with anything else. If it can be improved let me know how.
Next I'd need help with the video. I'm thinking of delivering it to camera - and a tally of the verses can go up as I speak. There are different ways I could film it. One that appeals to me, but it's technically difficult, begins in a pulpit just off Brighton's funky shopping district (the Lanes). Then I walk through the Lanes (cameraman with steady-cam walking backwards along with boom operator) to the pier. It gives the idea of the word of God going out into the world.
But, for that I'd need specialized kit - a steady-cam and a boom mic in particular. Any ideas about how I can lay hands on this and/or on any other video expertise?
Any better ideas about how to shoot it?
God forbid the powers that be
Forgetting the begetting of the KJV
It’s put words in our mouth for 400 years
Turned the world upside down, so here’s my three cheers:
As a sign of the times, I’ll sing its praises
Shout from the rooftops one hundred phrases
Miserable comforters may cast aspersions
I’ll do this in remembrance of the Authorised Version.
With prodigal glee I made haste to start
Then fell by the wayside, was cut to the heart
In the beginning, it seemed easy game
How the mighty are fallen, I was put to shame
This labour of love turned a worldly care
My dream became my cross to bear
I wished to wash my hands of the suff’ring
To find a scapegoat, pay a peace off’ring
The years of plenty gave way to famine
I counteth the cost, had to re-examine
I’d girded my loins then bitten the dust
Put my house in order as needs must
I’d led myself like a lamb to slaughter
Success was as likely as wine from water
With this thorn in my flesh, crying “Woe is me”
With weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth
I got carried away, knew not what I did
Twas a task that mastered, a bottomless pit
Beside myself sore tempted to chuck it
My tally remained just a drop in the bucket.
Twas a beast of burden, grievously borne.
I needed shelter from the storm
I could not find what I did seek
The Spirit was willing, the flesh was weak.
It’s written, “Pride goeth before a fall”
And for me that writing was on the wall
At my wits end, thought none could save it
This task was Goliath and I was David
The time was short, my days were numbered
This stumbling block had me encumbered
The kingdom of God may come with great power
My grapes had become decidedly sour
The sweat of my brow began to glisten
He that hath ears, let him listen!
There’s a time for everything, but first check
That it’s not a millstone around your neck!
I fear it’s too long to fight the good fights
If it takes 40 days and 40 nights.
Tis vanity of vanities, but I should have figured
Doesn’t it say “No rest for the wicked”?
In sackcloth and ashes, and laughed to scorn
I wished to high heaven I’d never been born
Stiff-necked, hard hearted with feet of clay
Awaiting my own private judgement day.
Then just before I gave up the ghost
The Lord appeared with heavenly host.
As fast as you can say “Let there be light”
In the twinkling of an eye, like a thief in the night.
Twas my road to Damascus, my bush that burns
For this doubting Thomas a lesson to learn.
Behold the Man! From heaven He came
The Word become flesh, one and the same
With tender mercies He casteth out fear
And said unto me, “Son be of good cheer
I suffer fools gladly, and that’s where you’re standing
This task indeed passeth your own understanding!
“You’re sore brokenhearted and none too smart
But clearly a man after my own heart.
Dearly beloved, to me you belong
And I will grant you to speak in tongues.”
So the truth set me free, Alleluia, Amen
Out of the mouth of this babe who’d been born again
Phrases were fruitful and multiplied further
The Lord as my helper, my cup runneth over
O me of little faith, I didn’t fall short
Just look at what my God hath wrought!
By the skin of my teeth? No we’ve done it in style
And even gone the extra mile.
So long live the King – Jesus we mean
But thank God King Jimmy has sown the seed
So verily, verily we say unto thee
Happy birthday KJV.
TOTAL PHRASES: 106