There are two things that will really mess you up in life. Getting married and becoming a Christian. You can poodle along quite contentedly before either of these states. But once you enter marriage, or once Christ enters you - life as you know it is over.
I know a good number of people who have developed and/or exacerbated serious emotional and psychological problems upon entering one or both of these states.
How come? Well here's one thought. In both you have the unconditional presence of another. Not even your sins can keep people at bay now. In fact now sins just become the occasion for a much deeper engagement. Conditionality used to keep your sins underground and your critics distant. When things were conditional you knew that the presence of love in your life was directly related to your ability to keep unloveliness hidden. Now you have unconditional - and therefore inescapable - presence.
Ironically it's not law that shines a torchlight into our basements. It's grace. There's no hiding place from unconditional love.
Barth used to say 'God's grace shatters men.' George Hunsinger wrote a book on Barth's theology called 'Disruptive Grace.' That's the true nature of covenant relationships. Yes they are the context in which true growth and godliness occur. But only because first of all they totally mess you up.
What do we expect in Christian discipleship? What do we expect in marriage? I say prepare for massive disturbance - and I mean disturbance in the fullest sense of the word.