1. Who am I head of? Not my church. That post is filled. And not women in general - I trust married men react with protective outrage at the suggestion I possess some measure of headship over their wives. I am head of my wife. Full stop.
2. Therefore the expression of my God-given headship is not a general leadership quality but a particular loving movement towards my woman. My masculinity is most tested by my ability to move into my wife's world with gentleness (Col 3:19), understanding (1 Pet 3:7) and sacrifice (Eph 5:25). (In fact GUS is the acronym I use to pray for my marriage.) Whatever definition of a 'real man' that the culture or the church comes up with, if this 'man' is unwilling or unable deeply to touch a woman - his woman - he is not yet the man he ought to be.
3. I've never heard it advocated but I wonder whether 'headship' has a great deal to do with prayer. The argument goes something like this: OT headship has deep military significance. e.g. "The LORD thunders at the head of His army." (Joel 2:11) Our battles are with spiritual powers through prayer. (Eph 6:10-20). Therefore headship is being prayer warrior for your wife. To see a 'head' at their most manly is to see him on his knees.