Tweety Pies

We don’t push faith out of ourselves by our will. Christ pulls faith out of us by His gospel.

Yr sins have been forgiven 4 Christ’s sake, u know the Father, u’ve overcome the evil1, ur strong&God’s Word lives in u 1John2 #EnjoyYourDay

Great British Bake Off teaches us about order in the kitchen: Every Mel needs a Sous. Complements to the chef

Phwoar, binary code… that’s a noughty one.

Ingratitude goeth before pride.

Sadly, your average Australian church-goer believes in moralistic, therapeutic, G’deism.

Dont know the way forward? “Ask God who gives wisdom generously 2 all without finding fault & it will be given 2u” James1:6 #EnjoyYourDay..

Remaining tight lipped is the only way to blow your own trumpet <-- the horns of a dilemma Our fave Luke15 image of salvation is the prodigal choosing repentance. The early church's fave was the Shepherd grabbing the lost sheep On results day, remember your Father has your future, the Son is your standing and the Spirit is your comforter. #EnjoyYourDay Today I've read that Mark Driscoll's a "complimentarian" and the CofE's an "Angelican" church: some typos to live up to. One day you will rest from your labours (Rev 14:13). Till then you're God's gift to the world. #EnjoyYourDay

We haven’t merely singlified sex, we’ve Zwinglified it.

Muggier than an Interpol suspect list.
Muggier than a Starbucks dishwasher.
Muggier than a Bogota back-street.

Rainier than a Prince of Monaco.

You don’t like flat bread? More’s the pitta.

You can’t use strips of The Times as a sweat band. Use News You’ll Ooze

Just realised I was using the wrong paper. It should be The Absorber

As a student: Ready Salted, Salt&Vinegar, Cheese&Onion and Prawn Cocktail were the flavours of my bath towel as term progressed.

When it got to Smoky Bacon I’d boil it up with some economy rice and a half litre of Carlsberg.

Just not sure which “check a trade” site I can trust :-/

It was always going to be a career of two halves. Sting operations won’t work if they know you from the Police

I’ll bet the Spanish are always overwhelmed by their todo lists :-/

Remorse code: for when your hopes are dashed

Right now you’re ambivalent about artificial intelligence. One day it’ll be make your mind up time

Jesus is not merely your ransom, He’s your righteousness. You’re not merely tolerated by God, you’re treasured. #EnjoyYourDay

Luther: “God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind…

…He restores life to none but the dead… has mercy on none but the wretched & gives grace to none but those in disgrace”

The enemy of your soul will soon be destroyed by the breath of Christ’s mouth and the splendour of His coming. 2Thes2 #EnjoyYourDay

Evangelism is not really “Here’s the deal”. It’s “Here’s the story.”

Best example of our blind faith in technology, no matter the evidence: long range weather forecasts.

No matter how many times it’s proved itself wrong, still: “Apparently next month will contain the breeziest Tuesdays on record.”

A Member of the Human Race is a Member of the Trinity. And you’re a Member of Him! #EnjoyYourDay

#ClichedBible “Let’s call it a day” (Hebrews 4:7)

#ClichedBible “Shut up and kiss me” (Psalm 2)

#ClichedBible “I was born reddy” (Esau; Gen 25:25)

#ClichedBible “Totes Amaze Bowls” (Rev16) and “Dead Enosh” (Gen5:11)

#ClichedBible “That’s how I roll.” (Ezekiel 1:19)

#ClichedBible “You had me at hell” (Revelation 20:16)

#ClichedBible “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” (1Thes4:13)

#ClichedBible “Aw, hell no” (Matt16:20)

#ClichedBible “It’s all good” (Gen1:31). “It’s all goo’d” (Lev13:10)

If u identify ‘real life’ with sexual self expression, u condemn & frustrate far more people than the Bible ever has LINK

Our last sighting of Jesus: As He ascended He was blessing His people. (Lk24:51). He hasn’t stopped since (Eph1:3). #EnjoyYourDay

Just as Buddhist dietary requirements are not carni-phobic so the Christian sex ethic is not homophobic LINK

The Trinity according to 2Cor1:3: Our Father, Compassion made flesh & Comfort personified. This is our God #EnjoyYourDay

Some say the Bayeux tapestry is more of an embroidery but that’s just knit picking

I know, I know… #knitwit

Some call me lazy. Let them.

My nephew’s new Playstation game is a bit worrying. He’s building a master race on MeinKraft :-/

All day I’ve been trying to find an anagram for a pig hut video. I had to give up.

Tried to find an anagram of ‘how I use a hot gut slime encrusted within a fat idiot’. In the end I thought it was a ridiculous waste of time

TRUE FACT: A soprano’s top B-flat can cause heart arrhythmia. Worse things happen at C.

When I kiss you, I’m thinking of me: moi moi moi.

Posted on by Glen in humourous, tweets

About Glen

I’m a preacher in Eastbourne, married to Emma.

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